Getting my Motivation back

New dress from Tenerife.
Just had to put it in there..

I haven't been very good at keeping this blog post running regarding my weight loss journey.
That is because I have felt very guilty about my weight gain after my blood test back in August
My motivation has been waning, as I have been either ill or on holiday for a fair few weeks, and I do truly miss zumba. I can tell I am not at my best, as I am finding the zumba class difficult.
I had my weigh in today, and saw the lady I used to see, and it was so nice to catch up and vent some of my lack of motivation.
It was so nice for someone to turn around and say that it's ok. I've been there. Life isn't always easy. Give yourself a break sometimes, because in the end you will come back so much stronger.

I also have a friend who is a bodybuilder, (check her instagram out here hollypatriciaemerson) and posts some amazing stuff regarding her weight loss journey. One video she posted that particularly helped me this week was this one. So informative about 'health products' that are really just bad for you.
The combination has really motivated me to keep going with this journey. I will get there in the end. :)

It's going to be pretty Lush...

So I've been a bit quiet on the blog front, I'm sorry. It's all been a bit manic lately! I have some brilliant news to tell you.
I am working as a lushie once again!
I am working at Lush Chichester this year as a Christmas temp. I am slightly mad, as I now have two jobs that get very busy for Christmas. However I loved working at Lush before, so couldn't pass up on that opportunity.

My personal favourite: Lord of Misrule

I had my first week of shifts, and felt like I slotted in nicely getting back into the swing of things.
I think this will help me with my weight loss as well, as I will be on my feet moving for more of my shifts. That might mean some more shoes though ;D
There are some brilliant halloween and christmas products in store, so definitely worth popping in to have a a look at them all.
xx

The results are in....

I have been really bad in letting you know the situation at the moment, sorry guys!
I had my blood test a couple of weeks ago- a complete drama as per usual, but got enough blood in the end- and found out I am not coeliac. However, I have worked out from the 6 weeks of gluten that I believe I have IBS, with certain foods setting it off. I have been experimenting with food a lot more to see what would upset me, and how it physically affects my body.
I am starting to get a better understanding of my body and what affects it.
It has been quite hard to get back in to the swing of things, with getting used to eating gluten free again, and being quite stressed out at the moment. Combined with Sarah and I's zumba class not being on over the summer, and now zumba not being on for two weeks (understandably, we all need a break) I have lost some of my motivation at the moment.
This morning though, I decided to treat myself to new workout trainers, and some new sports bras, ready for September.
I also went to see Katie again today. I stayed the same weight, which I was very pleased about, and booked another appointment a month from now; to give me a chance to get back into the swing of things again.
Time to get the motivation back and move on up! x

My first vintage outing

I know it has been a little while since I did any posts, but with holidays and feeling crap (having to eat gluten...blood test soon thank goodness!) I fell off the wheel a bit.

I did promise that I would show my ebay purchases in a previous blog post, and have been so excited to show you!

I have been waiting for a chance to show off the dress, and had one last weekend. I love vintage, as I find it gives me a great shape, so was determined to get a vintage style dress. I was lucky enough to buy some heated rollers on ebay for a good price as well, so win win situation!

I'm not normally a green person, but this colour was stunning!

I got so many compliments that evening, and got some about my weight loss as well, so was a very happy bunny.

I was lucky enough hairwise to have the help of youtube videos for vintage hair, and the lovely Laura for doing my hair- I honestly would have looked like a hot mess without her!

I still haven't quite worked out how to do the vintage makeup, but if anyone has some tips I would be eternally grateful. 

All in all I would recommend getting some purchases from fashion house (fashion house ebay link) and would recommend buying from ebay. So many plus size brands charge a lot for their products, so I'm always on the look out for a bargain. Ebay has its downfalls as we all know, but on the most part you get some brilliant stuff on there. I think as long as you are prepared to have a proper look on there the diamond in the rough is there.

Well happy shopping, and let me know if you find any good bargains yourself :D

The other side of weight loss

Loved my Bravissimo haul once again! 

I always love going to Bravissimo Brighton, because they make me feel comfortable in my own skin. With helpful and understanding staff, who are like your friends, giving their trusted opinion. I went there yesterday, as my bras have felt uncomfortable and not right. When I last went in I was a 36K. I thought I might have gone down a cup size, but got measured and I am now 36HH! A complete shock to me, as I wasn't expecting that much of a change. I was looking at myself in the mirror, and my boobs do look smaller in these bras as well. 

One the one hand, this has opened up so many fashion choices, as now I can fit into more bras, including the pinnacle which is the strapless bra. On the other hand it has been playing on my mind, because I am known purely for my boobs, and was proud to be big. Whilst this is still a larger cup size, I haven't been this small in years.  I have been feeling as if I am losing my femininity, which in turn makes me feel like I am losing my identity.

I suppose I have been living in blissful ignorance of the fact my cup size would lower. 

Whilst I am being told I am losing the pounds and the inches, I can't see the difference in my body so much, I suppose because I see myself every day.

It made me truly question whether I want to carry on. I rung Katie, and she said its my body and my decision to make. My body shape will stay the same, but on a smaller scale.

I think it goes to show that I didn't altogether hate my body when I started this journey. You always expect someone who is trying to lose weight to hate their bigger bodies, that there was nothing good about them.

I think there is another misconception, that suddenly you will be more confident and feel better in your body after losing weight. That suddenly a switch will flip and everything will change. It doesn't. It's a slow process that takes a lot of time. I have been starting to feel more confident in my body. I am much fitter, and I feel so much stronger. I just need to give myself more time to love the outside of my body.

If anyone has any tips to help with this, please let me know! x

Rawsome goodies!

This week I had my weigh in, and stayed the same. Considering I have been away on holiday and it has been my birthday, I think it is an achievement to not gain.
It has given me great motivation ready for my upcoming holiday to be good, as my next goal is to feel comfortable in a tankini.
I did decide to pop in to the Southsea Coffee Co though as Katie has recommended me to go in and try some of their gluten free goodies. I have been desperate to try some of their food, and had high expectations.

I had a hot chocolate and their carrot cake, which is gluten free, wheat free, dairy free, refined sugar free and soya free. Basically the premise is that you can enjoy delicious food but as nature intended, rather than any processed foods.
It did feel slightly strange at first, because it doesn't have the consistency of a normal cake, but you had all the same flavours as you would a conventional carrot cake. It is nice to know that if I want a sweet treat that I can go here and not feel so bad about it.
Once I got past the fact it isn't like a normal cake, I really enjoyed it, and would definitely recommend trying it.
Let me know what you think!

Adventures of this week

Well this week I went to Riga with my bestie, and it was my birthday yesterday! 

I would definitely recommend a visit to Riga, with its beautiful buildings, great museums, and fab restaurants. The people were absolutely wonderful, always helping us out when we needed it. Felt a bit sorry for this poor woman in the orthodox church, me trying to ask if I could buy incense, with the weirdest hand gestures, at least she saw the funny side!

We were lucky enough to be there during Riga Restaurant week, being able to have fab three course dinners for 15-20 euros!

I also let the hotel know in advance that I was gluten free. I got given rice cakes to replace the bread, which helped a lot.

Have to say on the most part ate pretty healthy out there, as salad and soup is big on the menus. I haven't eaten as well this week as I could have, but I know I will work extra hard next week. I am just grateful I did zumba at least once ;)

My birthday was yesterday, and was lovely to have a nice relaxed day, seeing all my family at some point in the day. I decided this year being my first gluten free year, I would make my own birthday cake. My poor poor friend having to deal with me asking constant questions, as I was determined to get this right. 

I used a spin off recipe from a new blog I found called hungry hinny- Recipe here. I decided to change the recipe slightly, as I am not a fan of coffee, and wanted to use up some cranberries. I also didn't have a food processor to hand, so had to improvise. All good fun!

I also make the rookie mistake of trying to whisk the icing sugar straight away. The mess I made...

I think the end result was fab if I say so myself, and was proud it was light and fluffy- something I found difficult with gluten free flour.

I have some improvements to make in the future, but right now I am happy I had a cake I could eat and everyone else enjoy as well!

I am sure I will get better at it in the future, mainly so I don't have to bug people with inane questions. Obviously I won't be doing much practicing, as I'm trying to be good. At least I know I have this cake in the repertoire, which will definitely come out in the future.

Would love to hear about more gluten free recipes, and try some out if you have any :D

Fashion Surprises!

Maybe it is just me, but I am someone who is a fiend for a bargain. Whilst I have some outfits that costed a fair bit of money, most of my clothes are from the sales. 

I just don't see why I should spend so much money on outfits, especially at this point where I am losing weight, and clothes might not fit me at some point soon. 

I didn't go out today to buy clothes at all, if anything I am having a clear out, but I couldn't let these go amiss. Black jeggings are my staple as an apple shape. As fellow apple shapers know, jeans will swamp your legs, whilst jeggings will show off what you have.

I came across this pair from none other than Lidl! Yes, Lidl! and at £4.99 I could not resist.

They are slightly tight at the top, but that will just be a little incentive for me to carry on with my weight loss journey.

So it just goes to show, you don't always need to go to the expensive shops to be able to buy nice clothes. 

Trying new brands + becoming an ebayer!

After watching Plus Sized Wars, I seemed to be going nuts for clothes, starting my own instagram (fluffy_rach) and decided to try yours clothing and see what is there.
Being a sale fiend, I decided to try a couple of belts and some patterned harem trousers. I found the sale stuff very reasonable. In comparison to what you can spend on plus size clothing, most things were a reasonable price.
The order came through pretty quickly, in time for a night out with my work friends.
My only worry was that all my weight is around my tummy. I wore a waist nipper just to flatten the area, so the material skimmed over.
I got no complaints of me looking awful, so I assumed I looked fine ;)
I felt so confident, and would definitely recommend a pair.
Having free returns now is also helpful. As for the belts, I would need to go up a size.
I used to get quite upset if things didn't fit me in my 'usual' size, but really sizes don't mean anything. As long as you are happy with what you see in the mirror, that is all that matters.

I have a couple more purchases in the pipeline, including a fabulous dress I bought off ebay, but I musn't show that one off yet! Definitely inspired by Georgina Horne of Fullerfigurefullerbust. That is all I will say.
After starting a major fashion clear out, I have decided to start ebaying some of my stuff. I certainly work in the right place, so am having fun watching my items get bid on!
Just so happy that these pieces will go to a home that will truly enjoy them.
Hopefully I won't buy too much with the money I get :p x

Plus Sized Wars- My Thoughts!

I have been so excited to watch Plus Sized Wars on Channel 4, ever since I saw Georgina Horne from fullerfigurefullerbust promoting it on her facebook. I was intrigued to see what spin channel 4 would take on the plus size market.
On the most part I think it showed that women of all sizes deserve beautiful clothing, but I do feel that some things need addressing.
The interviewer question about Tess Holliday- 'Do you think she is sexy?' Do you ask that about every woman he books? No, because you don't book a model as to whether you would want to have sex with them or not. His personal preferance is his. I found it insulting, because it was implied that because she isn't the 'norm' that it isn't normal to find her sexy either.
The typical 'are you promoting obesity/unhealthy lifestyle' question. No. It is not promoting obesity. Do you know what IS promoting obesity? Supermarkets having whole aisles dedicated to sweets, biscuits, chocolate, cake, takeaways, alcohol and cigarettes, with special offers left right and centre. Now let me get something straight. I am a strong believer that you can eat everything to be healthy, however it is about how much you eat, and the exercise that you put in as well. For people to believe that they can judge someone straight away purely by what they look like is a bit stupid.
If you wrote down what I ate, and then what some of my friends ate, and got people to guess who had which diet, you can bet your life they would chose my body for the worse diet. Most of the time it isn't the case at all. Some people just seem to be able to eat crap and 'get away with it'. They never get questioned on their life choices though! Why? Because their body fits the type that society has decided.
I think frankly what you do with your body is up to you. No one truly knows your health apart from you and your doctor.
Whatever size you are, you deserve to feel good about yourself, and deserve to have gorgeous clothes. Also, if you do so happen to want to lose the weight, then actually someone body shaming makes it less likely that you will lose that weight. This question is basically just subtle body shaming, implying you don't deserve nice clothes until you are smaller.
I noticed that they didn't air them asking the bloggers those questions. They would have been smacked down quicker than you can say 'obesity epidemic'.
The last thing, which I think is a travesty is that they did not mention Velvet D'Amour or Volup2 magazine! This woman has paved the way for plus size fashion and acceptance, with walking on JPG at Paris Fashion Week. Paris. One of the fashion centres of the world. Volup2 prides itself in acceptance for all!
She wasn't even introduced at all for who she is. I think that shows total disrespect for what she has done for us all.
I think on the most part though, I'm glad that the bloggers were shown for being fabulous as they are, and I think it also showed how fickle the modelling industry is. $_$

New Gluten Free Surprises!

I have had a few fabulous finds gluten free wise, and must share it with you ;)
As you might know it was Good Friday yesterday, and hot cross buns are a must in my family! I found a great 4 pack of hot cross buns from Asda's gluten free section, and they are quite big as well!
They are very sticky, which was the only downside, but otherwise a fab alternative to the regular hot cross buns.
My other find was after work today. I came out of work originally looking for an easter present for my Grampa, and came across a gluten free farmer's market stall, selling homemade pies, cakes, breads, and other treats!
I resisted the cakes and treats, but got myself a pork, leek and apple pie, granola and a loaf of bread. I would say that they were very reasonable prices considering you are paying for gluten free.
I had the pie for my lunch, just the right size and fills you up nicely. I have been trying different gluten free products, and this would have to be the nearest to 'normal' pastry I have tasted. I haven't tried the bread or granola yet, but the lady that served me was very knowledgeable about the products, being able to advise me on how to keep them fresh. Knowing it is homemade puts me at ease, knowing that I don't need to worry about cross contamination, and the people selling knowing exactly what is in there is such a bonus.
I will be buying from them again, and look forward to trying new things! They have a fab website where you can order their foods from the internet, or see when they are next in the area http://hampshireglutenfreecompany.co.uk/ .
Let me know what you think, and Happy Easter to you all! x

Pump it Louder!

I know I haven't been blogging for a bit, sorry, unfortunately it has been rather stressful, so have found getting to the computer hard.
Because of this, I did have a gain when I went to see Katie last. I think when things get stressful I eat more, not helpful when you are trying to be healthy. A very hard habit to break, but I am just trying to treat myself in different ways. Basically any old excuse to buy myself a lush bath bomb ;)

Workout Selfie!

This morning I went to my first BodyPump class, which is a strength class using weights. I was welcomed into the class by a wonderful lady who saw I was new, and helped me through everything.
She hadn't long started herself, and could empathise. It is a bit daunting at first, but once you get the hang of it, you are off! Definitely a fun way to do weight training, with the music banging out, an instructor to show you how to do it, and everyone else doing it with you. A class you take at your own pace, I intend to go back to it this Saturday coming before concert rehearsals.
I have the bug!
Also after feeling a bit low this morning, it is so true that exercise really does lift your spirits. I was soaring when I got out of the class, full of pride.
The instructor said she was pleasantly surprised at my body awareness on my first class, which was a real bonus, knowing that I was doing the moves correctly, much more important than the weights you put on.
The fighting spirit is back, here I go!

Pancake Party!

So this Tuesday just gone was shrove Tuesday, better known as pancake day.

I was invited to a pancake party, and am very lucky that my friends understand my gluten issues. I brought my own flour and frying pan, but I felt like I was included like everyone else. Sometimes it isn't always a nightmare to be gluten free, all you have to do is swap something round. 

I used self raising flour from the Sainsbury's free from range, which worked nicely with smaller pancakes. All I would say is that you do need to use a little bit more water/milk than usual, and I left my mix to sit for a while (a great tip I learnt from a lady I know who uses the flour regularly).

TADA! lovely gluten free pancakes (if I do say so myself :p)

Feeling a bit more daring

I have been starting to feel more confident in myself whilst I have been on my weight loss journey. Being able to cook the meals from scratch means that I control what goes in my mouth. I definitely could see the results when I went to Katie today. In two weeks I have lost 5 pounds, and in total lost 10cm in measurements.

What I hadn't realised until recently was that I had lost my daring side in recent years. When I was at college, I remember having a crazy dress sense, wearing more daring clothes, because I felt much more confident in myself.

I have found a brilliant facebook page a week or so ago: Plus size for sale, swap or wanted.

It has given me the push I needed to put some of my clothes for sale, but also gave me the opportunity to buy clothes at cheaper prices. 

A recent topic that has come up on FullerFigureFullerBust about clothes whilst you lose weight. Should you buy expensive clothing whilst you are going down the dress sizes, knowing that you won't fit into it soon?

This facebook page has alleviated that problem that will be arising soon. I can still get beautiful clothes, without spending a fortune all the time. It doesn't mean that I won't ever shop again, (anyone who knows me knows this can never happen!) but does mean I don't have to break the bank if I don't want to, and also potentially give the clothes to a new home once I have finished with them.

I made my first purchase on here earlier this week, deciding that I want to get back to my more daring self again, seeing these and fell in love with them.

The jeggings came in the post yesterday, and couldn't wait to wear them today! When I first left the house, I was nervous about people and their reaction to me. Then I realised that I didn't really care. I felt fabulous in my jeggings, and that was all that mattered.

I feel that I am getting back to my old self, both in body and mind. :)

Good news and Experimentation

Went to see Katie today, and feel very proud that I only gained 2 pounds over the whole Christmas period! I have also had an epiphany whilst watching the hairy bikers/dieters last night. It felt so nice to see others who had the same problems with food, but found a fab way of being clever with their food choices. It really has given me the motivation to up my game, and keep going with the hard work.
One of my favourite recipes from yesterday was the lasagne. Instead of using pasta sheets, they used leeks! It is ingenious ideas like that I need, so that I can still enjoy food and not feel like I'm missing out.
I got given a brilliant book for Christmas, giving me brilliant inspiration for new healthy, yet tasty recipes.
As I have the week off, I thought I had might as well try out some recipes whilst I have the free time to.
I am getting the whole family involved (including my Mr. Fussy :P), and hopefully they will like the recipes too. For me, I find getting everyone involved gives you the support you need when you are feeling low, frustrated, or craving certain foods.

This was dad's portion, so there
was more couscous

Tonight, I made sticky chicken with mango couscous. Really easy recipe, and nice and quick. Handy if you don't have much time to prepare a dish. It could also be altered in different ways to bring variety.
Not sure what to try for the rest of the week, but I'm sure I will find some more brilliant ideas from the book, online, and from family and friends.
If you have any ideas, let me know! x

Catching up and a new year

So I went to Berlin for the Christmas markets, and had a fabulous time with good friends.
Was pleasantly surprised that they had gluten free bread at my hotel, and felt fine, so will be trying gluten free and see how I get on.
My main worry was that dreaded seatbelt. I ended up easily putting it on, with room to tighten it as well, which really was a great boost.
Over Christmas and new year, I have definitely relaxed my eating, and felt much better for it within myself. I have tried to up my water intake, hopefully that will counteract some of the rich foods Christmas brings with it.
My first appointment with Katie this new year is tomorrow. I am expecting a gain after Christmas, so won't beat myself up about it, as I know that I can lose it just as easily again.
I will be able to get back to Zumba this week as well, which will be tough to start with. I am definitely looking forward to the challenge though.
Haven't made any new years resolutions this year, but hope that I can carry on my progress throughout this year.
Hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year, and hope this year brings you joy and happiness.