Appreciating the support

I have been doing my lifestyle change for a little while now, and have been feeling mixed emotions.

Partly I am very happy, because going to Katie every week to see my weight falling shows I am moving in the right direction. I am also losing weight quicker than I did before, which is a very pleasant change.

The other problem I have though is related to my previous attempt to get healthy.

I was going to the gym at least three times a week (because I wasn't working at the time), and trying to be healthier in my food choices. People really noticed the change in me, and would regularly comment on me losing weight and looking smaller. It really helped to carry on motivating me.

I found that I had fallen out of love with the gym, and fell in love with Zumba, and started to prefer classes. I have now found a Zumba instructor that really motivates me, and who doesn't judge me.

Now though, I have to try and fit my classes around my work life.

This is much more difficult, but I have found that I have got into a routine with my Tuesday evening class, but fitting in the other two I find more of a problem. Will definitely make a concerted effort to get at least two workouts a week, and build it up from there.

I am very lucky to have my supporters. Those who understand the food issues and give me tips, those who have gone through weight loss already, and the online community- Georgina Horne and her followers of FullerFigureFullerBust, helping me with bra fit advice whilst losing weight, and following Georgina's weight loss journey and lifestyle change.

From Pink Clove, worn with Maidenform top 

It has been great this week because I have had the first person notice my weight loss! It made me so happy that the work I have been putting in can actually be seen, through my body changes.

It made me feel so confident that I went out in my jumpsuit for Saturday, for my work colleagues' leaving do's.

In the past, I would not have worn this outfit. I would have been too scared of my apple shaped body to have left the house.

Yesterday evening though, I felt fantastic. I think it showed, because I felt so much happier in myself, and could stand tall(er) feeling proud of my body. 

I am getting there, both with the weight loss and the confidence.

What a Gaga Weekend!

Well this weekend has been amazing for me, as I have been to my very first live popular music concert, and watched Lady Gaga at the O2 arena in London!

With a nice dose of pointless :P

I have always liked Lady Gaga, so this has been a long time coming, after I couldn't get tickets for her last tour.
I was able to go with my best friend from uni who I haven't seen in a while, so it was brilliant to catch up with her and just have lots of fun :D
We obviously had to dress up, especially after seeing some of the brilliant outfits we saw people wearing for her tour so far. We weren't alone in dressing up, but equally we were in the minority, which was a shame, but hey ho.
What really did strike a chords though was how I didn't feel so nervous or self-conscious about this. I think it did help that I had my friend there with me, but I think partly I am just happier in myself.
I don't feel half as unwell as I used to, I am losing weight, and for the most part am starting to build my confidence.
The bit that I remember before the concert was when we were queuing up to get in. There were girls who dressed up as Where's Wally, (which was brilliant by the way) but otherwise it was just us.
I was starting to get a little self-conscious and nervous, when I noticed a family queuing with their children. The dad was staring at my outfit, I noticed him and smiled, and he gave me a friendly thumbs up. That was the moment I really felt at ease, because I think partly we all like to be accepted, and I realised no-one else really cared apart from me. These people didn't judge me, either on my outfit or my weight, and that was refreshing as well.
Maybe it is the fans of Lady Gaga. She really does have such a wide fan base, and she promotes acceptance in everything that she does, which I think feeds into her fans.
She was absolutely amazing, and did songs from all her albums, it was just such a brilliant show.
Here's hoping that acceptance becomes a part of everyone's lives, not just the few.

Slowing Down a Bit

Firstly, I would like to apologise for not blogging this earlier. I have been rather ill since Monday, still not quite 100%, but a lot better than what I was :)

I had my weigh in with Katie, and have lost another pound, which I am very happy about. It may seem only small, but they say that actually you are more likely to keep the weight off when it is slow and steady weight loss.

I am so near that stone loss now, I could smell it, and after I feel better, I will get back on the horse. 

Not that I am doing awful, but I find my resistance against ice cream and chocolate is not so good.

Proving I can still pose whilst ill.

I have been advised to stay off the bread still, and start having more pasta in my diet. I think this is to try to rule out things like wheat and gluten from being problem areas. I have had pasta for both lunch and dinner, as I didn't have time for breakfast, after my cold routine this morning. I have always believed in natural remedies to be the main cure for problems, so I have been steaming with Olbas oil, and drinking and hot honey and lemon water. 

Health wise though, I definitely think that stress is a big factor to me being ill at the moment. I have let a lot of little things really bother me at the moment, and I think it has built up to me getting myself ill. At least I am slowing down a bit more, and listening to my body. Will be back at Zumba next week, I promise!

By Jove, I think we've got it!

Well I have been without bread for a week, and on the most part feel so much better for it!
It has definitely cheered me up no end, knowing that I have found the main source of the problem.
Friday I might have accidentally had breadcrumbs without realising. I had falafel, and whilst it didn't say anything about breadcrumbs, I wonder whether it was in there, because after I felt very ill. It probably didn't help I did a Fab Ab class the day before, so mixed with muscle ache and bad tummy I was not a happy bunny to say the least. To know long term that it looks like bread means I can move forward, turn a page, and get back to the weight loss thing.
I have definitely found lunchtime the hardest when it comes to no bread. I have pretty much been living on soup and sushi and the odd salad, which I love, but if people have any other suggestions that would really help!
This past week I have been feeling a bit strange, as my partner's family, as well as mine eat bread a lot! This morning though, I was talking to a friend of mine, and she says she is exactly the same! I am not alone! Her issue is with the preservatives that they put inside the bread here in the UK.
Depending on what Katie thinks of the results, I might see how much effort it is to start making my own bread. Not all the time, but maybe occasionally as a treat.
We will see on Tuesday. x

A Step in the Right Direction

Well, I had my weigh in today. Was quite nervous, because of the gain last week.
The weight I gained last week is back off! A good step in the right direction :)
I also showed Katie my food diary, and from the looks of things, it could be bread being my main foe tummy wise. This week I am not going to eat bread, and then if I feel better, introduce it slowly, and see if it has any effects.
Fingers crossed it is bread, and I can adjust my foods and go from there. Hopefully it is that simple.
One thing we did touch on today was that stress does have an effect on weight loss.
If I get stressed, I find it has a negative effect on my eating, especially what I eat.
I do wonder though whether stress does have a negative effect on your health as well. I always thought that when people said these things that it was a load of baloney. Thinking about it now though has me thinking: what if they were right?
When I think about it, when you are stressed, we know that it increases things like your blood pressure. Why wouldn't it affect the rest of your body?
This week I am going to try and take it easy, and see whether that also has an effect on my tummy. It might not, but it'll at least help my blood pressure!
It should still have a positive effect on my attitude and my mood. I think sometimes I need to learn to not let things get to me. Those things I can't change shouldn't get me so down or stressed. You can only control your actions, so just make sure that those are good ones.

What you put up with

It is funny what you put up with for so long.

As you well know, I have been dealing with these tummy problems for ages, and am doing my food diary and a tummy diary, to try and find a pattern.

Looking through the diary, ready for Monday, has made me realise what I have put up with for so long!

Virtually every morning this week I have woken up feeling ill. Two out of the four days, I have felt unwell during the day. Only today, I have woken up feeling fine, and have had no negative tummy problems so far.

I think partly you only realise that you are unwell when you see the evidence with your own eyes, and how it affects you as a person. I think also hindsight is a wonderful thing. The times when I thought I was fine when I wasn't show up more, because you truly feel better physically and within yourself.

Not all bad eh :P

One of the times that really sticks with me was when I went to Corfu this year on holiday.

For the first day or two I felt ok, but as the week carried on, I was feeling really ill with my tummy, and as a knock-on effect was becoming quite irritable. Thankfully, my partner understood and helped me through.

Looking back, I was very unwell, but carried on; I was just determined to have a good time on holiday.

I think sometimes we forget the problems aren't just to do with health. The knock on effects can affect your loved ones as well.

I want to be able to be better for myself obviously, but also for my partner. He has been that support for quite a while, and when it is sorted it will never be forgotten.

So here's to all those who look after their loved ones, because truly, you are amazing! x

The Lemon Drizzle Cake Theory

Well, today has been one of those days.
One of the ladies brought in a wonderful lemon drizzle cake, and after I resisted the ginger biscuits yesterday, could not quite resist a slice, especially when everyone else was enjoying it. (Thank you Kirsty, it tasted yummy :) )
I think temptation is one of those things- what is one person's temptation, isn't another person's. I think also resisting is a technique you get better at with time. If you are used to saying 'yes' to all that food then it is harder to resist, but the more you get used to saying no, the easier it becomes. Now I am not saying that I say no to everything, as the drizzle cake shows, but I am learning to be a bit more picky in the treats I have. It is a long process, and in time, I might even say no to cake more often, but my thought is that denying yourself of everything just makes you want it more. Having that little amount of something you really enjoy isn't a bad thing.
Obviously though, my stomach thought something was a bad thing today! I have been trying to swap my lunch and dinner sizes around to try and help my metabolism and my digestion. As I had an hour lunch, I thought I'd go out and have a main meal- within 20 minutes of finishing, I felt absolutely appalling, and after my evening tea as well. The problems don't bother me so much though, because I know when Katie sees my food diary, it should be another piece of the puzzle.

Feeling proud in my shirt:)

After all these problems with my stomach, I wanted to see the positives of everything going on with my body. I had this work shirt which I liked, but didn't wear often because it was tight around my boobs and waist. I tried it on this evening, and had no trouble at all! It makes me feel so proud of the work I have been putting in to change my lifestyle and feel healthier, inside and out.
So tomorrow, I will be wearing my shirt with pride, knowing that I can do it :)