Doors Closing and opening

These past two days I have been having fantastic experiences with my graduation and the model casting. Friday was a day of doors closing, and today has been a day of doors opening for me.

Firstly, I had my graduation at Canterbury. It was such a wonderful experience, to graduate at Canterbury Cathedral, with people that I considered friends, especially being able to graduate with my best friend :) It was also a time to build bridges with people. I was also very lucky to get all three family members that came to Canterbury to be able to see me graduate. Yes, my Mum wasn't there to see me graduate, but on the plus side, she didn't really need a seat, because she was with us.
I can now finish that chapter of my life, and move on to better and bigger things. I can keep things that I enjoyed from it, appreciate the amazing people that I met, and not worry about the bad.

Today, I had my model casting for London Plus Size Fashion Weekend. This was the first time that I have ever gone to a model casting. I was very lucky to have my best friend there supporting me. At first, I found the whole thing very daunting. There were girls there talking about their modelling, and campaigns that they have done. I felt like the only one there who wasn't a professional model. At one point, I was trying to work out in my head how to get out of the place without making it look obvious, then a lady from Evolve magazine came in to ask about the reasons as to why we were doing it. That's when I started to feel comfortable and open up. I am so glad that I stayed and saw it through, because I felt the casting went really well, and got to see some of the pageant girls as well. It's nice to see that they are doing so well for themselves.
The thing I got the most out of for that casting though was what the lady from the magazine said. She said that what they are also looking for is women who are strong and confident within themselves. I didn't think that I was, but my friend sees otherwise. Then I had a breakthrough. Those people in Canterbury who tried to make my life hell, I thank them. If they didn't try and push me down, then I wouldn't of gained the strength to fight back, to push them out of my way.
What do I say now? Keep trying, because you are helping me be the best person that I can be. x

Plus size problems!

For the orchestral concert on the 28th of October, we were told to wear long black dresses, without showing any knee. At first, being a girl, I was quite excited at the prospect of potentially getting another dress to add to the collection.
Today though, I have had the age old problem of sizeism in shops. It is so difficult to find a maxi dress at this time of the year, let alone all black and plus size!
It seems that people don't understand that being fat is equally as much of a psychological problem as being anorexic or bulimic. Shops still stock size 4-6, but not plus size. (Not saying that all people who are sizes 4-6 have a problem) You should be treated exactly the same as someone with anorexia or bulimia. It is first and foremost a psychological problem that is using food as a trigger. It is not a sign of being a lazy slob, and the NHS patronising people with: "food has these things called calories in them" does not help the situation.
How is making shopping difficult, making it a demoralizing experience helping them? How is that giving them more self worth?
I have lost nearly half a stone so far, but I wonder what the point is. I am still landed with the fact I can't wear the pretty clothes other girls wear. Something needs to change, and I hope and pray it will come soon. x

(Btw please let me know what you think of this dress, would appreciate the comments)