Mother's day *groan*

It is officially Mother's day today. Not the most enjoyable days of the year for me, for obvious reasons. Weirdly enough, this year I found it harder; maybe because this will be the first year that I will be home for it. I have found that I haven't asked for help though, because I don't want to ruin other people's Mother's day by hanging out with me, when they have a Mother with them. Hopefully I won't have people come up and talk about my mum tomorrow, because I just don't like it. I have got to the end of my tether about the whole thing. I cannot try and please everyone else, whilst people don't think that they could be hurting my feelings, and/or angering me.
I have also been watching Whitney Houston's last interview: the one with Oprah in 2009, and one thing that really spoke out to me was her unwavering faith in God. There was one point in the interview, when she was talking about leaving Bobby Brown. She asked for the strength to leave him. It made me think of men. Firstly, it made me think of the man I like. Maybe instead of asking God what I shall do, even though I know the answer is to tell him how I feel (and not feeling like I have the courage or the strength to), I should really be asking God to give me strength to tell him. It also made me think of my last relationship I had. I can see now, (and I could see then too, if I'm being honest) that it wasn't a good relationship. It wasn't a relationship of equals. He didn't see me as his equal, and the balance of give and take was more me giving, him taking. I knew this fact, but I stayed with him, because I was just so happy to be in a relationship, and happy to not be alone. I know now that if something is not right, they need to go. I can't stay in a bad relationship, because it would stop me from finding a good relationship, with someone I deserve. It is just finding someone that you fit like a missing puzzle piece. You could meet the nicest man in the world, but if they don't fit, they don't fit.
I like to use this song to help me think about how I want my next relationship to be. Not that the man thinks I'm perfect, but that he can accept my faults, handle my baggage, and still think the world of me (and visa versa obviously). I also want my next relationship to be a bit like this, because I think I deserve to be loved, to have a man make the same effort for me as I would for him. I deserve it.
Whether that is another brick down from the wall, who knows? I just like the song :P x

Oh Brother....

My little brother is away on frosty camp this weekend with the scouts.
My first thought was I won't be disturbed in the morning for two whole days! I was definitely very excited to not see him for a couple of days.
I had my lie-in which I took full advantage of. Dan didn't pester the cat at every opportunity. Dad and I (mostly dad) were able to sort out the kitchen and rid it of the crap that you obtain over the years, but without Daniel, the house feels weird. I'm in this weird state of being happy the house is quieter, but kinda bummed that there is less life in the house.
We also went to the quiz tonight. Yes, it was nice not to have Dan muck about for most of the evening, and not eating all the food we brought, but I get so much more frustrated at things at the quiz (people saying the answers loudly, people taking the game waaay too seriously, etc) that I found I didn't enjoy it as much, and normally I love quizzes!
I might change my mind yet again tomorrow morning, as I get to have the chance to talk to people properly rather than my brother winding me up the wrong way. Who knows?

The poor cat.

Brothers. They may wind you up silly, torture the snobby cat, and embarrass you, but frankly you do miss them a little when they leave. x